My Pokemon fan-fic at age 41, written as me at age 9
by JustinDambit
Summary: A satirical attempt to parody bad fanfic, created solely to amuse. Spelling and grammatical errors are intentional and will not be fixed. Consider it entirely outside any canon, fanon, or headcanon.


Zesty Pickles was a new Pokemon trainer who was just starting out on the Pokemon circuit and she wants to try hardest to beat everyone. She has a older boy partner named Atom "Dabomb" Dropz which we will see was not a very wise choise. He is mean inside, but tries to hide it on the outside and seem nice like a choco shake they get from the snack bar for Pokemon trainers. He saids to himself on the inside always "I will beat all the other trainers or I will kill them in their sleep if its the last thing I'll have to do if I ever lose!" No one will ever call him by his stage name, though. "Dabomb."

One day, a pokemon sunddenly appeared out of nowhere like a surprise sneeze fart. Zest certainly didn't ecpect that! It was a girl, so cute, and was a new mon, no one had ever heard of her before. She keept making a noise like "hampo!? Haaampoo?" cutely. She lookedlike a cute hamburger and a hippopotopmus, only like a baby.

Zest said,

"Adorbs! Im going to want to eat it!"

"NOOOOOpe! damit idiot we must CATCH IT you underwear-cheese smell!,' said the boy Atom, whose evil was starting to show now. He said bad words because: older! Duh!

"What is it name" says Zest, Its not in the Pokedex!" "Hampo hampo!" said the unnown poke. "Why does it make that sound?" Saays Zesty, "Oh whell, we'll just callyou "Hamham" for now?" and she smiled. :D

"you're making me testy, Zesty! Have you ever even heard of this boobsing game?" he swore. "Pokemon say their names!" saide the wise Atom, who was older even if he was bad. He may have had all the anger in balls in side of him, and never let them out until it madeeveryone unhappy and embarrased in front of his dad, who took him to see a nice old lady named Mrs. Cray who told him good things (about how to deal with tissues like when you are angry at someone and cant hit them so you CALM yourself or going poop when you have to instead of holding it and getting it all clogged up inside) but he was more knowin gof the Pokemon World of the Master Trainers than Zesty.

"Get with the times toots! It ubviously is a Hampo stupid idot" and also a word that starts with f and ends in face that would get you in bad trouble at school. He heard it from an older trainer who got knocked on the head by a teacher it was so bad, even the older kid got suspendered and had to talk to Mrs. Cray too, and she made him talk to someone who was nice but not like Mrs. Cray is nice, and now no one had seen that kid at school anymore. Atom was evil, but was trying to seem good, but even he was glad that guy wasn't around anymore. He tried to make him eat leaves once and showed his peepee to a girl once and tried to make him look at his peepeee too, but he kicked him in the crutches and ran to the beach.

The pokemon got eyes all big and said "HAAAMPOOO!" and had an explosion. "Snap! We should have caught it!" says Zesty.

"Your name sounds like a pickle jar! That was just an explosion attack, dummboobs! It must be an exploding type! That's so rare it doesn't exist yet! Get it!" said Adam.

And Zesty pulled out he PokeBall and it opened. And all the rays shot out and the perpspectve started spinning around. Atom tried not to look because he had a seziure warning. And good ol'Pikachu came out of Zesty's ball and stepped on the hamburgerhippo. "I'm grinding YOUR beef, "hamburger poo"! He said, only it sounded like "pika pika" but if you talked Pika then you know what he said.

And it got captured! :DDD

"I have a new eploding-type Pokemon! It's the rareist, I think it might be indangered!"

"Not for long Zesty" and he kicked her in the taco and tried to grab it. But she kept it out of reach, "you can't get this Pokemon!"

Atom had lots of pokeballs, so she smaked his balls all over and hid one in the car. He was so upset that he ran off in all directions.

"No one will ever call you by your stage name now! You bombed,! "Atom!" she yelled, and no one ever did. She got famous for being the first to catch the endangered explode-type Hampo-mon who people loved and amazed by. Atom was called "nazel dropz" by his foster dad because his real dad didn't want him anymore, but he still was the enemy for Zesty Pickles for stories to come...

But THAT is an other story... ;))


End file.
